Taboo Subjects

Last night's Q & A brought up the subject of Taboo topics. The panel were made up of writers and artists. Comedienne Jean Kitson stated that menopause was the last great taboo in our society, and she has written a book about it to try and change that. I bet she's right because if I had any male readers here, I bet they stopped reading when the "m" word was mentioned.
It's certainly much talked about among middle aged women, in this day and age anyway.

I am at the tail end of the Baby Boomer generation. I remember the times when many subjects were taboo.
I remember when the word cancer was said in whispers and various topics were alluded to with strange words, metaphors or eyebrow raises. I remember a time when there were great uncles who had served in the war. These were usually strange, scary men to a child, and I was told they refused to speak of it. Post Traumatic Stress was not coined back then and these damaged men often turned to alcohol.

I still recall a time when there were lots of taboos. Things like divorce, death, race, illness, convict ancestry and even pregnancy. I remember as a child asking my grandmother if she had convict ancestry. She didn't want to exactly lie to me, but she was very uncomfortable about it. "Oh I think there may have been one way back somewhere" she told me.  When in later years I looked into this, I discovered he was her grandfather, hardly way back somewhere!

Happily many of these taboos are now broken. I do think it can be the responsibility of one who suffers from one of these difficult subjects to speak of it and try and bring awareness.

I suffered quite severe post-natal depression twice. At the time I would not have admitted it to anyone. I was ashamed and felt a failure. I hid it as best I could, successfully, I don't know? I looked for signs in my friends who had babies too. I knew what to look for. I felt very alone.
I wonder if I had my time again have things changed now? Would I more freely admit to it nowadays?
Fortunately mental illnesses are more openly discussed and understood now.
Tara Moss was also on the panel. She has just written a memoir about her personal experience of rape and abuse. "People call me brave" she said, but she stated that to speak of it and empathise, she had to tell her true story.

As for menopause, I'm not so sure. Richard Flanagan said his women friends all talked openly about it, he was quite relaxed about it. Tim Storrier was squirming in his seat when his turn to comment came, it was quite funny!



“The conflict between the will to deny horrible events and the will to proclaim them aloud is the central dialectic of psychological trauma.” 
― Judith Lewis Herman, Trauma and Recovery


 P.S. Menopause can be a horrible event at times!!

The Shut Eye Train

Inspired by a poem by Eugene Field.

Last night I missed the Shut Eye Train to the Land of Nod. I almost got on, but then "toot toot" the whistle bleweth, "ting a ling" the bell it goeth, and off it went without me.

I waited on the platform, with much tossing and turning and fluffing of pillows. I started playing the alphabet game to pass the time and to lull me into a slumberous state. The theme I chose was rocks and minerals. Alabaster, Basalt, Crystal, Dolerite, E....E....E....stuck. Go on to F....F....F....stuck again.
Try another theme. Plants. Hang on, are we going to allow trees? No, no trees. What about flowers? No, not flowers, just shrubs or bushes, medium sized flora. Agapanthus, hang on that's a flower, yes but it's also a bush...okay we'll let that one pass, Briar, Catmint, Dahlia. E....E....E...stuck, F....F....F. Obviously this was not working for me tonight.

Eventually another train came and I boarded. Alas, this was not an express. It stopped at every station. First stop, I knew I'd been asleep but checked the clock some time after midnight. Next stop, an hour or so later. Finally got to Shut Eye Town in the Land of Nod, but I had the most disturbingly awful dream, you know the sort, you can't even begin to describe?

I heard a sleep expert interviewed on radio this week. Apparently the functions the brain performs during sleep are unlike any function of the awakened brain. We do things in our sleeping brain that we cannot when we are awake. Fortunately sleep brings with it a complete paralysis, or else we would be acting out our dreams. Now that would be bad. Neuro scientists are still at a loss to explain why we sleep, and why so much. Evolutionary science is at a loss too, as sleep leaves us so utterly vulnerable to danger, as all our senses are on shut-down. We are not like other animals, dolphins for example. They sleep half a brain at a time. The best explanation is that sleep and dreams de-frag the brain (like a computer) and sort and store memories.

Well, I love my sleep, and usually I love dreaming (flying dreams are The Best).
Today I might need a little Nanna Nap after last night's train ride.

A Writing Excise: A Modern fairytale.

Once upon a time there was a young and beautiful princess. She was from a small European principality and descended from a long and wide line of royalty. She was taking a gap year and touring Australia. That was how she found herself stranded in Lower Wilmot, Tasmania. Her car had broken down. She walked to the nearest homestead to garner help.

"Come in dear" said the friendly local lady upon hearing her plight. "No you will simply stay the night here with us. Brian will get the car going in the morning."

As it happened, Brian was also descended from European royalty. His wife Marlene was quite proud of her royal connections but never mentioned the fact that her husband's great great grandfather was shipped off to the colonies as a matter of convenience for the family.

Marlene had high hopes her son Shaun would marry well, but well connected aristocracy didn't surface much on rsvp.com. Now here she was, at her door, beautiful, young, excellent english.

"Brian make up the guest bed" Marlene said. "But use the KMart sheets. If she's really a princess, she won't sleep a wink in them."
In the morning the Princess emerged looking very well rested. "I slept wonderfully, thankyou" she replied when asked. "Brian, get her the Black & Gold brand Corn Flakes' Marelene whispered "if she's really a Princess, she'll choke on them". The Princess ate them with enthusiasm. Marlene was getting suspicious.
"Now the bathroom's down the hall, go have a shower dear" said Marlene.
"Brian, get a new block of  Country Fresh soap, if she's really a Princess that stuff will bring her out in an awful rash."

She emerged happy and refreshed. Marlene was getting surer this girl was a fraud. "My you speak excellent English dear, did you learn that at the Sorbonne?"
"No, I watch lots of Disney movies" she laughed "somebody poisoned the waterhole" she said in a perfect American accent. Brian walked in. "Got your car going love" he said.

Marlene was very keen to find out more before she let this girl go though, she really wanted Shaun married off well. "Your family, they are financing this trip for you?" she asked
"haha, no" she replied "my job at Maccas financed this. Even before the GFC my family had long since lost their fortune and sold the jewels".
"No castle?" Marlene further enquired.
"No, there may be a slight ruin left."
"No tiaras, orbs, sceptres?"
"Haha no, none of that old rubbish."
Marlene sighed. "Oh what a shame my dear. You'd better be off them"

The young Princess lived happily ever after and Shaun moved to Ulverstone.