Taboo Subjects

Last night's Q & A brought up the subject of Taboo topics. The panel were made up of writers and artists. Comedienne Jean Kitson stated that menopause was the last great taboo in our society, and she has written a book about it to try and change that. I bet she's right because if I had any male readers here, I bet they stopped reading when the "m" word was mentioned.
It's certainly much talked about among middle aged women, in this day and age anyway.

I am at the tail end of the Baby Boomer generation. I remember the times when many subjects were taboo.
I remember when the word cancer was said in whispers and various topics were alluded to with strange words, metaphors or eyebrow raises. I remember a time when there were great uncles who had served in the war. These were usually strange, scary men to a child, and I was told they refused to speak of it. Post Traumatic Stress was not coined back then and these damaged men often turned to alcohol.

I still recall a time when there were lots of taboos. Things like divorce, death, race, illness, convict ancestry and even pregnancy. I remember as a child asking my grandmother if she had convict ancestry. She didn't want to exactly lie to me, but she was very uncomfortable about it. "Oh I think there may have been one way back somewhere" she told me.  When in later years I looked into this, I discovered he was her grandfather, hardly way back somewhere!

Happily many of these taboos are now broken. I do think it can be the responsibility of one who suffers from one of these difficult subjects to speak of it and try and bring awareness.

I suffered quite severe post-natal depression twice. At the time I would not have admitted it to anyone. I was ashamed and felt a failure. I hid it as best I could, successfully, I don't know? I looked for signs in my friends who had babies too. I knew what to look for. I felt very alone.
I wonder if I had my time again have things changed now? Would I more freely admit to it nowadays?
Fortunately mental illnesses are more openly discussed and understood now.
Tara Moss was also on the panel. She has just written a memoir about her personal experience of rape and abuse. "People call me brave" she said, but she stated that to speak of it and empathise, she had to tell her true story.

As for menopause, I'm not so sure. Richard Flanagan said his women friends all talked openly about it, he was quite relaxed about it. Tim Storrier was squirming in his seat when his turn to comment came, it was quite funny!



“The conflict between the will to deny horrible events and the will to proclaim them aloud is the central dialectic of psychological trauma.” 
― Judith Lewis Herman, Trauma and Recovery


 P.S. Menopause can be a horrible event at times!!