Friday, June 12, 2015

A Modern Fairytale. The Idiopathic Hypersomniac Princess.

Once upon a time a lovely little daughter was born to an upwardly mobile  Melbourne couple. They named her Aurora Elizabeth Jane and organised a very nice after party at her christening which was at that old cathedral in the city. A very nice affair.

All the gorgeous friends and relatives were invited, well except one. The mother's cousin. Her name was Skye Laark and she lived in Byron Bay. The new mum just did not want her cousin to ruin the day. Skye Laark (born Tracie Lee Buck) was into potions, herbs and spells, wore outrageous clothes, smelt of incense and had a quite tasteless tatoo.
"You've made the right decision" said the other cousins, "she probably wouldn't come anyway".

The day was going beautifully, all those thousands spent on pink flowers and  fairy lights were worth it! That was until.....Skye Laark turned up with her son Gnu York and her little girl, Northern Star.
"My invitation must have been lost" she said.

Aurora's mum was squirming. The invitation had plainly stated No Children!
And her hair...it was bright orange, well half of it anyway; the other half was shaved!
 All the christening gifts had been given. Skye Laark had a gift. She hung some weird little amulet around Aurora's neck.
"Hmm, karma, I see karma",
"On her eighteenth birthday she will prick her finger and henceforth suffer from idiopathic hypersomnia."

Skye Laark mingled with her cousins, drank the champers while her two children ran rampant and barefoot around the venue. One last cousin had one last gift. "Pfft, rubbish "she told Aurora's mum, "true love and a pure heart will save her", and she placed a gold bracelet with a tiny blue bird charm on it around the baby's wrist.

Aurora grew into a very beautiful girl and as very beautiful girls sometimes are, she was a Princess, and in using this word I don't mean royal! She was a spoilt, entitled brat of a girl.

On her eighteenth birthday she went shopping at Chadstone. She saw a pair of Christian Louboutin, 120mm stilettos, beige blush patent leather, made in Italy, red leather sole, only $700; she had to have them.


She picked them up and pricked her finger on a nail under the heel.

A tiny drop of blood dripped unnoticed on to the red leather.
"I feel weird" she said to her mum as she slumped onto the pink velvet chesterfield sofa in the middle of the shop.
A doctor was called. She was fine, he concluded, simply asleep. I'm sure she'll awaken, he reassured.
No one could move her. She lay sleeping all that day, all that night, all the next day and night.
Soon the media caught wind of her. Tracey Grimshaw was the first. She was dubbed "Chadstone's Sleeping Beauty" by tv shows and newspapers alike. Her fame spread, what a shame she wasn't awake to see it.

Her mother recalled her christening day. "Surely not" she said to her therapist!

Pretty soon young men, driven by the media campaign lined up to awaken her.
None were successful. One young man started a Facebook page. I alone am true of love and pure of heart he stated. He soon had thousands of likers. He was interviewed on The Project. He was sweet, genuine and the excitement was building. His name was Prince! Yes, his mother was a massive fan of the singer and had named her son after him!

The day came, cameras and journalists scuffled and the shoe shop was happy for the publicity it had received over the last few months.

Aurora wasn't looking so good by now, but when you're immobile, it's hard to keep someone looking faboosh.
Prince said a few words and approached Aurora and planted a gentle kiss on her luscious lips.

She stirred. She opened her eyes. There were cheers, there were camera flashes, her mother cried and Prince beamed. It slowly dawned on her.' It's me, they're photographing me!' she realized. She smiled.  She felt the dampness of drool on her cheek.
'I've been asleep' she realized.
She rubbed her eyes. Mascara smeared on her fingers. She felt her hair, it did NOT have the silky feel of freshly straightened hair that it should.
She was suddenly mortified, horrified and terrified. She bolted upright and saw her reflection in the huge mirror in front of her.

She screamed, pushed Prince aside and had a tantrum and demanded a hair straightener immediately.
Her performance went viral and her fifteen minutes of fame was an embarrassing affair for her poor mother.

Aurora and Prince lived happily ever after.
Prince who was indeed pure of heart and true of love married a lovely girl and they lived a charmed life.
Aurora marketed herself brilliantly and continues to make bucket loads of money swanning about as the Sleeping Beauty and face of Louboutin's ongoing advertising campaigns.

                                                                         April 2013 shoot for Madame Figaro China


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